Dressing for a Funeral
It isn’t often I am asked my opinion on what to wear to a funeral, but that exact question was put to me, as a life was lost way too young last week, in an accident.
My initial response was to say something ‘black’ of course. However I wasn’t sure that was the right advice to give to a teenage girl, who, although they were not together anymore – had lost her first ‘true love’. Should I be telling her to wear his favourite colour; or did she have a dress hanging in her wardrobe that he always liked her to wear? I just didn’t know.
Over the weekend she went shopping for an outfit and bought a nice long black dress and belt from Glassons, which definitely looks appropriate for the service on Friday. However if need be, we do have a second more casual outfit should she change her mind. As she has never been to a funeral, who knows how she may be feeling on the day. It will be a mix of emotions for a celebration of a life lived to the full, but gone way too early.
Love and hugs.
What is Style? 
Black is no longer the accepted norm, and some even request that attendees wear something in the deceased person’s favourite colour, etc. These days a formal outfit is not always necessary but nothing looks worse than someone who makes no effort whatsoever and turns up in their oldest jeans and jandals, looking like they just tumbled out of bed or the pub – and I have actually seen that! To me, that just conveys a lack of respect to the deceased person and their family. Best thing is to wear something you feel good in, but appropriate to the occasion.
I went to a funeral last, where my friend definitely didn’t want us to wear black – but some happy colours to reflect her personality and celebrate her life. It was a happy funeral in a funny way but one that I knew exactly how Sue would have wanted it. There is nothing worse than people not making any effort. I think great advice to wear something that makes you feel good.
I don’t agree. People need rituals and funerals are such an emotional time that the familiar can be comforting – black still symbolises respect. I plan for my family to have a celebration, not a funeral when I leave the world, but will not have a dress code. People will dress as they wish. At recent funeral I went to we were all asked to wear orange as that was the deceased favourite colour, but unless the family makes a specific request, black still represents mourning. Saying that though, when I lost a friend at 18, I wore white. It was a strange colour to wear but at that time all I wore was black. I was going through a gothlike phase and didn’t want to wear something so everyday and normal to the funeral of someone whose death felt like a travesty. White to me on that day symbolised how beautiful and kind my friend had been. I was asked to speak and I’m sure I looked odd to many, but it made me feel like I was honoring my friend and I don’t regret it.
Your young friend is lucky to have you. I’m sorry for her loss. The death of a teenager hits us all.
It is such a difficult situation and unless a dress-code is specified, I think wear what you want to wear but bear in mind if in a church or depending on the location – sometimes protocol demands some form of respect. The most important thing is to honour who has parted in the best way possible. xx